If you are coming off a breakup and you want your ex back, there are some things about relationships which you must understand. Without understanding how relationships really work underneath the calm surface of which we often refer to as love, you shouldn’t be wasting your time trying to win back an ex.
Whether we like to admit it or not, every relationship has a hierarchy structure. This applies to both personal and professional relationships. Some relationships like between that of an employer and an employee, the hierarchy structure is always active and vigilant. Whereas in a personal relationship say between a mother and a child, the hierarchy structure may also be constant but it’s forgiving and it derives from a loving nature.
Once we start to dissect a relationship between lovers is when things start to get complicated. It certainly is a loving relationship and it does not have the sort of hierarchy structure that a professional relationship demands. But every relationship between two human beings has an alpha dog, or a leader and a follower if you’d like.
Just look at your mom and dad and tell me one of them does not command more authority than the other. It’s usually not an abusive sort of authority but we all know who the boss is of a particular relationship.
So we come to your relationship and your breakup. You have throw out everything that was and replace that with everything that is. You may have been the alpha dog in your relationship when you were still together with your ex, but you have broken up and now, you are presumably the only party of the former relationship who wants to get back together. Get used to it, because you are now riding shotgun and your ex has commandeered the driver’s seat.
If you want to win back an ex, you have to re-take the driver’s seat and have your ex riding shotgun. Maybe you were always riding shotgun, but to win back an ex that is just not going to cut it. It doesn’t matter who dumped who, the fact that you are seeking to get back together and your ex isn’t, that in itself puts control in your ex’s hands. You have to take the control back by making sure that he or she would want you back.
So how do you make yourself desirable to an ex? Believe it or not, you have all the answers to that and more. You know what your ex likes, what your ex gets turned on by, the qualities in a person your ex really appreciates, and the desires he or she may have even though they may be possible only in an ideal world, in another words, their fantasy.
So you already know what you have to strive to become for your ex to want you back again. Often times it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. This means that even if your ex’s fantasy was to date a guy with a six pack, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to get a six pack. But surely getting rid of your love handle will go a long way in making you look better. Now that’s just an example, it may be that you have a perfect body but you could use some help in the temperament department.
You know yourself better than anyone and you know of your ex as wells as anyone. You have all the answers to making sure your ex desires you again, the hard part is actually shaping yourself to be the person he or she desires. Is your ex worth all the effort? Only you can answer that.
Every relationship has it’s own set of quirks and perhaps you need a guide that covers a broader subject in rekindling an old flame. Please visit “The Magic of Making Up” for videos and information on additional resources. If you have changed your mind about getting your ex back after reading this article and you’d much rather start something new, then I suggest you start dating again. Try pressure free dating sites like Match.com and just have fun with it for the duration of its 7day free trial.